Saturday, November 1, 2008

Untitled

I can't understand how after
days, weeks, and months of loving/you
can so quickly, so easily
detach and walk away
~leaving~
residue like soap scum
ALL OVER ME!
Gotta quinch this thirst
to kiss you/ to call you
just to hear you speak
gotta swallow the urge
to taste you/ to touch your/
hands
I gotta stop this inner fury
like molten lava
RAGING!
I cannot stand this residue
sticky, like wet fingers holding cotton candy, sticky
stuck, like bubblegum, my heart is on the bottom of your shoe
hot, like our 10 yr. old bodies running fast in the Newark sun.
hot, like the fire that you set me on.
For the past few weeks I've been
AGONIZING over you...
If this feeling were a color it would be dark brown
If it were a song it would sing 'misery'.
It would smell like 'empty'.
I just can't understand how after
lovin' me/you
can so quickly, so easily
detach
leaving me standing here smiling and acting like my shit's together
when I really just want to break down and cry.
~leaving~ this sick feeling in my stomach when I check
my voicemail, my e-mail and NONE of the messages are YOU!
~leaving~ me afraid to be alone in my thoughts.
Cause i know that's where you'll be.
You got me boppin to hip hop
Cause Mary J. Blige just won't do...
You drew this line in the sand
and
I didn't ask you to build me a castle with your hands,
((BROTHER))
I just wanted you ta...(sigh)
The red light on the corner of Vineland is where I think of you most
I mostly wonder if you're thinking of me.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

ok, see - this is why I'm afraid to love. Been thinking about it a lot recently, cause I feel myself wandering deeper and deeper into this dense forest, and I'm afraid that if need be, I wouldn't be able to easily find my way out -

this post is a stark reminder of how scary it can be

for real - now I'm really scared (you gon' git brotha man fired for no reason than my unwillingness to be hurt again)